My little YOAI crack
by wiltsfan1993
Summary: Okay here's a randome fic I did about the Yoai in the Akatsuki. I was hyper and needed to get rid of the energy. holds fire exstigushier GET READY FLAMES! The reason why its under crime is because well writing this story is a crime!


Vic's Topic: Akatsuki Yoai

Hi, it's me thought I just blab off about a specific topic. Now I made up this little thing called what would the Akatsuki member's parents think if their son was Gay. Now I believe that they would be fine with it, but have some flaws in their relationship with their partner.

Take Itachi Uchiha with Kisame; now imagine Itachi's parents alive, Itachi in the Akatsuki going out with Kisame. The parents don't mind having a gay son, but their is a slight problem. HIS LOVER IS A SHARK MAN! Itachi's dad thought he was Aqua man when Kisame came through the door and his mom thought he was Captain Planet. It was because of his blue skin. Now in the middle of the night in the hideout all they can hear coming out of Kisame's and Itachi's room is "Let me find your Nemo, Kisame." XD! I'm such a smart ass!

Now for Deidara. Once again, parents don't mind. IF THE KID DIDN'T HAVE 2 LOVERS! THOSE LOVERS ARE SASORI AND TOBI! WHAT THE HELL! Oh and that's not all. Unfortunately Deidara goes after the wooden type. That's another thing that makes his parents mad. He is dating a puppet. WOW! And what about Tobi. Now Deidara didn't know he was an Uchiha till he said he was. Now Itachi is pissed at Deidara because he's dating an Uchiha and thinks they will have kids together cause ("Dude looks like a lady" by Aero smith plays)

**Dude looks like a lady**

(Song ends after that). Am I getting any credit for this shit. Now for another one. Lets see...Zetsu. (Impersonates a random person) Oh no not Zetsu. Your so mean Richelle, well who cares. I speak to the world.

Now Zetsu is a plant we all know that he pollunates. Now lets say he picks the color flowers he wants to grow on him, well I was doing some spying and found this. (A video starts to play)

Zetsu is in the fields ready to pollunate. He grows pink pansys.

(Movie ends)

Now come on you got to admit he is a pansy for growing fucking pink flowers. Now Tobi used to be his lover until something happened. Tobi came home and saw Zetsu kissing another flower. Tobi got upset and broke up with him. You are probably asking what flower it was. It was a...venus flytrap. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!!?!??

Now for Tobi. After his and Zetsu's bad break up he soon was Deidara's partner till Sasori died. Deidara was drowning in grief when for somewhat reason he heard "Falling in love with you" by A-TEENS. AND THERE STOOD TOBI LOOKING ALL SHINEY AND SHIT LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL AND WAS FOREVER HIS FUCKING LIFE PARTNER! Now not only is Tobi a good boy, he's Deidara bad boy. Infact that's their love song, "Bad Boy" by Cascada.

Now for Sasori, yes I am torturing puppet boy, but I have to or else my humor will fade away like a speck of dust.

So grandma Chiyo was like so happy that her grandson finally found his life partner, but once she realized it was Deidara she freaked. Dude, this dude almost killed the Kazekage, Gaara af da sandboxes. Gosh I'm a retard. She sacrificed her own life to save Gaara. The was her face xx. That's what it looked like. She soon came back from the dead and tried to strangle him to death. Tobi cut off her arms and shoved them up her sandy ass and using Makeyou Sharigan to fry her ass in a burning hell. Now Sasori and Deidara loved eachother very much and once he heard Sasori died he swore to kill that old sandy bitch and that pink whore.

Now for Kisame, his mom was a nurse shark and his dad was human. I really didn't know what Mrs. Hoshigake was saying. All she said was "blub blub blub". Now his father was just wrong, he's fucking disgusting. WHAT KIND OF SICK TWISTED PERV WOULD---

(We are experiencing technical difficulties. While you wait please enjoy Akamaru dancing to the Hamster Dance)

(We are back)

Isn't that just disgusting **Shudders**. Now his father said it was okay, but he had to date another animal cause well his lover was a dang human and you know how sick and disgusting this guy was. Wait there's an intersting thing though. Not only is this guy Kisame's dad, but he's also Orichmaru's.

Which brings me to him. He thought him and Itachi were lovers, but Itachi didn't want him to be. Once, Orichimaru tried to _take_ (That's Michael Jackson talk for RAPE!!!!) Itachi's body, Itachi cut his hand off. Once he tried to _take_ his body he gave him some milk and put a little "Jesus juice" in there so he would get woozy. He was till he got out of his fever saw what Orichimaru was doing, he took his Kunai, cut his hand off. Orichimaru ran away screaming like a little girl. Till he met his new true love. It was when he was in a restaraunt in disguise when he walked in the men's room he saw Sauske using the urinal and like what he saw. That's why he's going after Sauske right now.

Kabuto, now I know all Kabuto fangirls are screaming NOOOOOO! NOT KABUTO! I don't give a flying fuck. Read the 1st admendment. RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH! GET OVER IT! Now Kabuto has a crush on Orichimaru. Everytime he was angry I asked him what got up his butt. His reply "more like what didn't." You see Kabuto is jealous of Sauske for stealing "his man" and imagines ways to kill Sauske and make it look like a mistake. EVIL KABUTO!!!!!

Oh and don't get me started on Pein. He was having an affair with Tobi, which is why he was the real Akatsuki leader. MUWHAHAHAHA! Until he broke with him and started to date Konan. SHE IS A GIRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Well I beilive that's all. GO AHEAD WITH YOUR FLAMES AND INSULTS! I WAS JUST BEING RANDOM! THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A CRACK FANFIC!...bye.


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